friends

 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends  John 15 ;13

Ive always loved a film or a book which celebrates a great friendship.  There is something lovely and romantic and touching about a great love story between a man and a woman - but a story of true friendship has a nobility and a strength about it which I find compelling.   One of my favourite films is Dead Poet's Society which tells of an inspiring English teacher in a very stuffy boys school and how he inspires his students to fall in love with poetry and discover who they really are.  It is a great film on many levels, but one of the things I really like about it is the friendships between the boys and the love they have for their teacher.  You see a developing devotion and understanding and fierce loyalty   growing in the boys as they wake up to the joys of being alive and throw off the shackles of repressive public school and parental expectations.     Then there are Kevin Costner and Morgan Freeman as Robin Hood and the Moor,  Thelma and Louise , Andy and Red in Shawshank Redemption, Pooh and Piglet, Calvin and Hobbes....... friendships which are devoted, strong and good.   There is a power in a deep, lasting love of a friend and if we know that love we are truly blessed.

Jesus seems to imply that there are sort of ' grades' of love.  For a love to be ' greater' there must be other loves which are not quite so ' great'.  And the greatest sort of love is not the love of a parent for a child, not the love of a wife for a husband.  Not even the love of a man for God.  The greatest love is the love of a friend who will throw himself in front of a bullet to save you, or dive into the pool to rescue you or give you their kidney should you need one.  Its a very specific love.  Phileo.  A love which seeks the happiness of the other.   In the Bible we see it between David and Jonathan, “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. . . . And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself” (1 Samuel 18:1-3).

I think this verse sums up what is so powerful about friendship. It is a joining of spirits which goes deeper than common interests or shared experiences.  Its a bond of love and a recognition between two people, felt equally by both, that a tie exists between you. Its a gift.  I had this with my dear friend Gladys and it was such a huge blessing to both of us.  I hope you know this sort of friendship too  

Jesus must have known this sort of love and most certainly He inspired it in others. He travelled and lived with twelve men for three years experiencing so many highs and lows.  They laughed and cried together.   John rested his head on Jesus's chest as they reclined at dinner.  Jesus took three up the mountain with Him and singled out Peter to look after the others after Jesus was gone.  These were deep, personal, open, trusting, loyal friendships.  These men loved each other and the disciples believed they were prepared to die for each other and for Jesus. ( Im sure that though Peter was the one who was asked the others would have said the same ) Was this the love which enabled Jesus to lay down His life for us all?  I know He was dying for the whole world and all of history, but when He was actually standing in front of Pilate, when He was being scourged, when they nailed Him to the wooden beams, was He thinking about Peter and John and Mary and Thomas?  He knew them.  He loved them as a brother.  He had chosen them, discipled them, and knew the work to which He had called them.  As He hung on the cross He looked at John, possibly His very best fried and most beloved disciple and asked him to look after His mother.  Friendship was , I think, one of the things at the heart of the cross.