Disappointment

 The word disappointment comes from the medieval French and means literally to dis- appoint, or to remove someone from their appointed position.  To sack them, in other words.   The P&O ferry workers have been disappointed this past week..  In every sense of the word.  Its interesting ( well I find it interesting) that a word which originally signified a world shattering event like losing ones job in an era when if you didn't work you didn't eat, can now be used to describe a slightly underwhelming pizza or an ill fitting shoe.  

But actually, pizzas aside, disappointment can be crushing.  I think that when I have experienced it in my life sometimes it has been because my initial expectations have been unrealistic.  It has taken me a while to realise that I have quite high expectations of myself and I transfer those onto other people.  I expect good manners, absolute honesty, consideration of others and all sorts of other high standards.  And when people inevitably fail to live up to them, I get disappointed.  Which is pretty much all about me and not really about them or anything they have done or failed to do.

But there are other situations in which the expectations aren't unreasonable or particularly high.  They are realistic and achievable but people don't come through - they let you down.  They act carelessly, or even downright obstructively. And the go-to response is disappointment.  This is where we need to access forgiveness - which of course can be easier said than done.  But if we don't park our disappointment and forgive people for their disappointing behaviour then we run the risk of becoming sad, angry, resentful or even bitter.   Grudges are born out of disappointment.  And they are never good things to carry.  

What if disappointment is directed at myself?   What if I feel that I have let the side down, not lived up to expectations, not behaved as I should have....?  Self blame and the feeling of failure lead to shame and guilt and horrible feelings of worthlessness.  But the truth is that just as other people will let us down, we will let ourselves down on occasion too and we need to be realistic about what to do with the associated feelings. 

God is not a God of disappointment.  He appoints us..  He calls us and sets us up as sons.  He has completely realistic expectations of us so can never be disappointed in what we do or how we behave.  He knows us perfectly and yet still loves us.  He never sits back and thinks ' Oh no!  I didnt think she would do that!  How embarrassing!'  Neither does He punish us by dis-appointing us.  We don't lose our positions as sons just because we happen to fail at something.  We are not disinherited because we are not yet perfect as He is perfect.  Phew!  Good job eh?  Here's the conclusion Im coming to as I write this -  God is not disappointed in us because His love for us outweighs His own standards of holiness.  Logically God should just condemn us all to hell , wipe out the human race and start over.  There is no reason for Him to keep on  putting up with all our nonsense.   His holiness is repulsed by the merest hint of sin.  And we are riddled with it.  But ......  God is LOVE even more that He is holy.     God's desire for relationship with me found a way, in Jesus, to deal with the sin ( which is more than merely disappointing but is downright offensive to God) whilst maintaining His integrity as a perfectly just judge.  His love is unconditional and overwhelming. 

If I loved people more than I wanted them to behave towards me in certain ways, I probably would never be disappointed again.